By Kevin Leland
For Sea Stories
When I was Stationed in Italy, aboard the USS Orion (AS-18) in the late ‘80’s, the crew was very predominately male. We had a few female officers on board. One to all of them must have complained to the Captain about the number of pin-ups and girlie calendars and other such offensive decorations lining our walls and locker doors.
It was decided that it would all stop, and henceforth be removed, even if the objectionable material was taped inside a locker, and visible only when the locker was open. This rule was broadcast at morning muster.
It was expected to be fully complied with by 1600 hours. At that time, each Division Officer would go around and inspect their areas to be sure the crew obeyed these new orders handed down.
I saw my chance to get a rise out of my Division Officer. I clued the guys in the Hydrostatic Test Shop, 93 Tango, what I was up to, and asked them to play dumb. I was going to directly disobey, and get my Division Officer going. I left my pinup in my locker, and left the door open for the entire world, and him, to plainly see.
He walked in right after 1600, chatted with our LPO for a few minutes, and then turned toward me as I stood near my open locker door, smiling at him like I was innocent of everything, or up to something. Then he immediately glanced to my right, and got an eyeful of a topless girl.
His gaze snapped right back at me, as he asked sternly. “Petty Officer Leland, were you paying attention when I announced at this morning’s P.O.D. that all the pin-ups needed to be taken down right away?”
“Yes, Sir. I was.” I answered.
“Then why, after everyone was told that the only authorized pictures that can be displayed are of family, do you have that hanging in your locker?” He asked while gesturing toward the picture of the cute, topless blonde I still had hanging up.
“Well, Sir” I replied as I pointed to my pin-up. “That’s my sister!”
My cute, blonde sister rolls her eyes in disgust whenever I tell that particular Sea Story.