Sea Story: Before and After Editing

BEFORE:

I went to boot camp in oct. of 77 and yes I was one of those that got into a little trouble. In company 300 we had this kid that had a mouth on him and got the whole company in trouble for really stupid stuff and trust me we were getting tired of it. We warned him a few times but it did not sink in so you all can remember things we were given in boot camp and all the things we did in the barracks, cleaning and things. Well our CC had this one pet peeve and that was the dental floss, he hated it and God forbid if he every found it laying anywhere but your locker or the trash. He would scream at the top of his lungs at us and oh the pushups we had to do for it. well one night after I had done my fire watch and was just falling asleep I got woke up by a couple of the guys, they said it was time to teach this guy a lesson. ok I said and what’s the plan? yup you guessed it , dental floss. this guy slept so hard it was a chore to wake him up so we took 6 rolls of floss and “wrapped” him up. we looped around his fingers , his feet, around the bunk , remember these are 100 feet each. the guy never even stirred, just kept on snoring away in unknowing bliss till the morning. well we all rolled out and got ready for chow and everyone was laughing at him but no one woke him. so we form up to march to chow and sound off and low and behold we are one short. the Chief says sound off again and we do and still one short so he starts looking to see who is missing and its the trouble maker. he starts screaming his name and nothing. there are chuckles coming from a couple and we are trying not to bust a gut. He goes in the barracks and finds him still asleep tied to his bunk and I could not tell if he was laughing or what but he comes out and tries to yell at the rest of us and at last stutters go to chow I will deal with you later. Off to chow we go and are sitting there eating and just about done, remember you had like 10 minutes to eat and fall out. and in comes the guy just looking like death warmed over and grabs something to eat, sits down and not even 3 minutes the Chief comes in and yells at us to fall out. we form up and out onto the grinder we go. we spent the next hour marching while he is yelling at us, then we return to the barracks and there was dental floss on damn near every rack and then the ass chewing started for leaving floss everywhere and 100 pushups later we had to clean the entire barracks again, twice because the 1st time we missed a piece of floss on top of a light. needless to say the guy was pretty good fro a couple of weeks after that.

AFTER:

Dental Floss as a Training Tool

I went to Boot Camp October, 1977, in San Diego, California. I admit, I was one of those that got into a little trouble.

In company 300 we had this kid that had a mouth on him that got the whole company in trouble for really stupid stuff. Trust me we were all getting tired of it. We warned him a few times, somewhat politely, but it did not sink in.

We can all remember the things we were given in boot camp: soap with case, shaving kit, shower shoes to avoid athlete’s foot when sharing showers with twenty other recruits, in a room as big as dance hall, toothpaste, toothbrush and other toiletries, including: dental floss.

Our Company Commander had this one pet peeve. That was the dental floss. He hated it with a heated passion. God forbid if he ever found a random piece strewn out anywhere other than inside a trash can. Upon finding a misplaced strand, he would instantly be set off, screaming  at the top of his lungs at us. “We’re going to do push ups  until you ladies all drop dead from exhaustion, or until you all finally get it in your thick f*****g heads that used dental floss does not belong in a sink, in the head of my barracks!”

Oh, the pushups we had to do for such a little oversight…

One night after I had done my fire watch and was just falling asleep I got woken up by a couple of the guys. They told me that it was time to teach the screw-up a lesson. “Okay.” I replied, in agreement. “What’s the plan?”

I was thrilled to find out that their plan involved. A blanket party. With…Dental floss.

The screw-up was one of those guys that went into an unresponsive coma when he slept. “Reveille” and a screaming CC along with about a hundred guys frantically scurrying to quickly get dressed and muster failed to even stir the kid most mornings. This sleep pattern enabled our blanket party to wrap the kid up in no less than six rolls of dental floss. We looped it around his fingers , his feet, around the bunk (remember these rolls are 100 feet long, each) his arms, his legs…The guy never even stirred. He just kept on snoring away in unknowing bliss until the sun broke and Reveille sounded.

We all rolled out and got ready for chow. Everyone was laughing at him, but purposely, no one bothered to wake him. We formed up to march to chow. We did our morning “sound off.” This is the boot camp daily custom that assures all recruits are present and accounted for, and no one with a change of heart about military life jumped the fence in the middle of the night, to run back to Mom’s home cooking.

Low and behold, we were one short.

The Chief commanded, “sound off again!” Still, we were one short. So our perplexed CC began to search for the missing recruit, adeptly recognizing whose face was missing: The Screw-up’s. He screamed his last name so loud, if the kid was dead and in a grave, he would have kicked the dirt off himself and jumped out of it.

Nothing. Not a peep in reply. Just a few muffled chuckles from some of the guys who knew what was going on while anticipating all Hell about to break loose when the CC discovered the situation. We were  all trying hard, and succeeding, at not busting a gut. As our Company Commander walked toward the back of the barracks, he found the Screw-up tied to his bunk; dead to the world.

The CC surprised us all, because instead of going ballistic, we could tell he too was trying to contain his laughter. More amused than angry, he did his best to yell at us while at the same time stifling the chuckles. “Go to chow! I’ll deal with all of you later!” He stuttered.

We only ever had exactly ten minutes to eat chow, as speed-eating was part of a young military man’s training regimen. We were just about done when the sleeping beauty comes staggering in, looking like death warmed over. He grabbed his chow and sat down with less than three minutes flat to eat it before it was time to fall out again.

The Chief came in and yelled at us to form up, and out onto the grinder we all went. After about an hour of marching and drilling, with him yelling at us no less or no more than usual,  we returned to the barracks to find chopped up dental floss on damn near every one of our racks.

The essential ass-chewing over misplaced dental floss began, and one hundred push ups later, we all had to clean the entire barracks top to bottom. Then, after we were done, we had to do another complete, top-to-bottom cleaning because someone had overlooked a little, inconspicuous strand somewhere on top of a light fixture.

The Screw-up, along with the blanket party, were all pretty good for a couple of weeks after that.

Here is the post, live:

Dental Floss as a Training Tool

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