What does celibacy mean?

By Sally Collins LPN

For Celibacy content

Many people, in relationships, decide that they don’t want to have sex before marriage.  Some people will not have any type of sexual or pre-sexual intimacy, because they may be tempted to lose control and engage in sexual contact.  Being celibate takes self-control, because we are, by nature, sexual beings.  From the time we are infants, we become familiar with our genitals.

Babies discover their genitals and often touch them because it gives them pleasure. There is nothing wrong with a baby discovering their self-awareness.  However, many people discourage their infants and children from touching their ‘private’ body parts for whatever reason.

Most people, when they are in a loving relationship with their partner will want to express some sort of intimacy.  After all, we want our partner to know that we care for him or her.  Being sensual – notice I didn’t say sexually – intimate is possible, but most people do want some degree of contact with the person they love.

When you are celibate, you may be totally asexual, or you may be sexual, but not go ‘all the way’ or you may avoid missionary sex and engage in oral sex.  Many people feel that oral stimulation isn’t really sex at all, because the penis does not penetrate the vagina.  However you feel about sex will affect how you relate to your partner.  If both people are comfortable with the level of intimacy that you engage in, then all should be fine.  There should never be any guilt felt by either of the partners as they relate to each other.

Some people believe that being celibate is merely not engaging in penile/vaginal sex.  However, they may engage sexual activity that doesn’t require penetration of the penis.  Or the man may penetrate the vagina with a condom on, because technically, the penis does not touch the vagina because when covered by the condom.  Then again, the couple may engage in touching and manipulation of the male and female sexual organs, or there may be oral stimulation involved.  The point is that the couple will have to decide for themselves what celibacy means to them.

No one else should dictate to you how you should relate to your relationship partner.  Some people may expect you to live like a Priest, Brother or a Nun, but that isn’t necessary when you define what being celibate means to you.

Celibacy Stories 2014-02-24_2305

What Celibacy Does NOT Mean

Celibacy is not a practice to steer men away from Jezebels and shiksas. It’s not a road to personal, celestial perfection. It’s taking a beautiful and very meaningful act of human expression and defining it in its highest terms, and preserving it for its proper purpose. Continue reading →

Other articles on celibacy:

Can You Be a Born Again Virgin?

How does the Bible define celibacy?

How can I be intimate without sex in a Christian relationship?

Online relationships: Must romance always involve sex?


6 responses to “What does celibacy mean?

  1. For many people, they believe that celibacy means the lost of intimacy in a romantic relationship. This couldn’t be further from the truth! It is my belief that If celibacy is done properly, you are guaranteed to see a far greater level of intimacy in your romantic relationship than those couples who engage in sexual intercourse. So what do I mean by celibacy done properly? Simply that when you remove sex as the main factor of celibacy, you can begin to focus on the inner self, spirit, mind and body. If you view celibacy as encompassing this trinity (spirit/mind/body) of the human being, you can focus on who both you and your partner are at a deeper level than you can reach through sex.

    Simply put, when you’re celibate, you have to work harder at being intimate. Intimacy means getting to the core of a being that is not readily available to the rest of the world. Sex is sex! Although sex can be a form of intimacy, it does not equal intimacy. For many people, instead of talking to their partner, they communicate through sexual intercourse. For celibate people, that’s not an option and therefore you are forced to find other ways to reach each other, hence, the greater level of intimacy! If you’re looking for tips on how to increase the intimacy in your celibate or even sexual relationship, check out Section IV of The Kama Sutra of Celibacy: 101 Ways to be Successfully Celibate and put these tips to work and watch the intimacy grow in your relationship!

  2. I’m glad B! We are going to get into it a lot more here on this site. Stay tuned. We have a lot of hits, coming from people seeking a definition. C.L. Summers, and myself, as well as Sally, practice celibacy. It’s been 3 years for me…six more months and I’ll be a virgin again! lol Did you know that you can reclaim virginity after 3 1/2 years? I’mm preparing an article about that as well. Thanks for your comment.

  3. alot of people look for the easy way out…if your going to be loyal n straight forward dont try to have your cake n eat it too…celibacy is reframing from all sex n acts n also not masterbating..celibacy is a unselfish sacrifice…i do it for God to show my love dedication n obedience to my creator that holds n molds me that went through the utmost sacrifce for me to live…i will honor HIM with my body until He decides what partner im to be married n paired with

  4. Thank you for your comment S.C. -No one corners the market on the definition of such things as celibacy, purity, abstinence or born again virginity…That is the purpose of promoting this topic on this Blog. I think your devotion to God, by refraining from every sexual act, would more appropriately be called ‘purity.’ I would argue that it’s the easy way out, for those who may participate in some physical intimacy, but stop short of the deepest form of intimacy that should be reserved only for married couples. What is your stand on holding hands, slow dancing or kissing?

  5. Pingback: What Celibacy Does NOT Mean | Bangari Content Gallery

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